Let me start off by airing my disdain for the use of the word “fail” as a noun. Blame it on my B.A. in English, my being white, or my dislike of internet memes. Whatever the reason, it will always be a verb in my world. And these eggs, alas, were a failure.
I recently purchased the book Cooking for Geeks, and was very intrigued by their description of something called 30-Minute Scrambled Eggs. Basically, you cook eggs over the lowest possible heat while stirring constantly. This keeps the curds that develop during cooking very small, and eventually yields an unbelievably creamy egg. All you need are a few eggs, some milk or cream (no more than 1 tbsp per egg), salt, pepper, and whatever else you’d like to throw in. Sounds pretty delicious, right?
Last weekend, my usually sweet boyfriend decided he didn’t want to go to breakfast with me. Harumph. Since I had been craving eggs all morning, I decided to treat myself to these. Because I have a gas stove, I was concerned that the direct flame might make achieving a low, even heat difficult. To counteract this, I decided to set up a double boiler of sorts.
I brought the water in the bottom pan to the lowest possible simmer and mixed 3 eggs with a few splashes of half & half. I placed a 12-inch non-stick skillet on top of the pan of simmering water, added the egg mixture, and proceeded to stir constantly with a rubber spatula. Everything seemed to be going just fine for the first 15–20 minutes. But then things started to stick. And my 3 eggs began to look more like 2, then 1. By the time I was done, it seemed like most of my breakfast was stuck to the pan. (Note: Some of you may be confused because I said I used a rubber spatula above, but that’s clearly a wooden one below. The wooden one only came into place once the eggs started to stick, and I was desperately trying to scrape them up.)
So, what went wrong? First off, I think a smaller pan would have helped. I had way too much surface area for 3 eggs, which led to way too many places for eggs to stick to. Second, I think I cooked them for too long. You should remove scrambled eggs from heat when they look slightly underdone, because they will continue to cook even as you transfer them from the pan to your plate. But with the creamy consistency of these eggs, I had a hard time telling the difference between over and underdone, until it was too late. Third, I think this might be a dish best made for two, with more eggs.
So, what I ended up with was four bites of breakfast. But what I did eat was absolutely delicious. They are like no eggs you’ve ever tasted (unless, of course, you’ve had slow-cooked eggs before). They’re creamy, yummy eggyness. That might not sound that good, but trust me, it is. I will definitely give these another shot and attempt to correct my mistakes in the near future.